Log in

13 September 2011 @ 11:01 pm
I love to read. It's a given fact. I'm known for reading several books at a time when I'm not in work-mode. The library faeries have my name on a permanent reject list for checking out library books because I hardly ever want to give them back.

I like the smell of books, the feel of turning the page, the words spread out so neatly and precise. All of that is a joy to me. It's my personal bliss. My Utopia. However, there is one thing that seems to consume my mind even more than a good, solid, slightly worn book. Fan Fiction.

Books make me happy, fan fictions make me obsessive. There is something about characters that you know and love, say Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, being thrown into crazy situations by people who are fans themselves. When I find a good story I find myself with my eyes glued to my computer screen reading, rereading, and re-rereading, the words there. That was what happened when I stumbled upon Demitria Miriam.

Demitria is...amazing! I started reading the story eMate dot com a while back and, for some unknown reason, i was drawn back last night to check it for an update. I love updates. When I love a story I'm likely to check it every week for a new update, holding my breath in hope as the page loads. eMate dot com was is one of those stories.

So is Past Lives, Current Conflictions. I came across this story about 10:30 last night. I finally finished reading it a few hours later. I then had to read it again. And again after that. I spent the entire night reading these two stories.

Demitira, without even knowing it, kept me up all last night. And I have a feeling that it'll happen again.
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: dorkydorky
10 May 2011 @ 04:53 pm
Is it horrible? Probably.

I honestly can't help it though. I actually try to avoid him now. There are a number of reasons to avoid someone and, in this case, they're all probably wrong.

In the course of our relationship, long distance for those who didn't know, we've spent dozens upon dozens of nights talking to each other. It started with our house phones (running up our parents' phone bill), moved to our cell phones (a whole lot of texting done there), and by the brilliance of skype finally ended at our computers. We've been through good times together, bad times together, even suffered through high school together. He knows me better than anyone. I love him insanely, passionately - entirely.

Now, being that we're apart from each other, our "extracurricular" activities differ from a normal couple. This is not something that bothered me. I've always been very talkative - no matter what the subject. Lately, though, that is not the case.

It seems that, as our relationship progressed, my voice has diminished. I can't say the things that are on my mind like I used to. This happens all the time, not just in "personal" matters, and I find myself not knowing what to do.

The obvious answer is to speak to him, but therein lies the problem. Whenever I try to bring myself to speak about things my throat closes up. I can't get the words out. I can't say what I want to say.

So, here I find myself. I'm avoiding him and his questions. I'm practically voiceless. I've got no idea what to do or how to handle my situation. I'm basically stuck.

Anyone out there happen to see where my voice ran off to?
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: stressed~sigh~
Current Music: 22 - lily allen
20 February 2011 @ 06:05 am
I am a child of whimsy,
Of magical intent,
Days spent in awe of life,
Of the world around me

I am a child of light,
Pure and untainted,
Bright with intentions,
Love and joy in my eyes

I am a child of love,
Dwelling in the possibilities,
Of life, love, hope
Of meaning in the world

I dwell in the possibilities,
Of your life,
And mine,
Of ours together

And as I dwell in the possibilities,
I can't help but to smile
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: blahCalm
Current Music: A Spoon Full Of Sugar - Mary Poppins
17 January 2011 @ 06:25 pm
Current Location: United States, ,
Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: None
11 January 2011 @ 04:00 am
lkajshfjdigjlkjg iweuroqo anwnqel fknw rqeq enemrevqrebqm aidyifaiuffifoafpa aieweoqbekqhoa abfa jkadofubeabskdjif bakebtlsalsjdbwbfdi aksduayebqtbaygbvwakdbs~~~!!!!!

                          - My Brain Is A Mass Of Jumbled Nothingness
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: thoughtfulNothingness
Current Music: Nadda
10 January 2011 @ 08:10 pm
1. I have blood clots
2. They are in my nose
3. I can't get them out
4. When I get them out my nose bleeds
5. My humidifier isn't working like it's supposed to
6. It's only making my room frikkin cold
7. I ripped my sheet
8. I can't find my back up sheet
9. I misplaced my warm fuzzy blanket
10. I have a feeling my mother stole it
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: blah......
09 January 2011 @ 05:30 am

..............That is all.
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: chipperRaWr
08 January 2011 @ 03:16 am
Sleep! Great glorious sleep!

For the last two days I have been cleaning the house like a fucking maniac. That's why I've missed the last two days of updating. Last night I got maybe four hours of sleep tops, so it's nice to be able to lie in bed and just veg out.

So, on with the updates!

I'm working on Cupcake Camp Toledo, as I am every year, and it seems like there is some serious progress being made. I've spoken to someone about holding a pole dancing class for charity and setting up a movie night as well. I'm hoping that things will go well this year and that, with some help from volunteers, Cupcake Camp Toledo will raise a good amount of money.

BTW -- I Love My Boyfriend,
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: None
05 January 2011 @ 11:14 am
I ran away.

In the future I may call it a glitch, say it was the computers fault, but I will always know that the truth was I ran.

What he asked of me was simple. It was something that I have seen myself doing, countless times, in my mind. It was something that should come easy to a girl of so many words, but I couldn't - can't - bring the words to leave my mouth.

I don't know why it is so hard for me. It shouldn't be. It isn't. Only on this subject.

My throat closes, my nerves jump, my stomach leaps...all because I don't want to say the wrong thing. So, I run.

We agreed to open communication - saying everything without consequence, but I still cannot bring myself to be honest enough to admit this issue. Words have failed me.

I'm sorry...
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: anxiousashamed
Current Music: Pen to Paper - Poetry
04 January 2011 @ 08:03 am
I'm not usually up at 8 in the morning. No, I'm usually still nestled down in my covers dreaming of...well, let's not say what I'm dreaming of, but this morning, the first morning back to school for my mother, I was woken up with a solid, and evil, knock to my bedroom door. This was a Lindsey-Monique-Tucker-Get-Your-Ass-Out-Of-Bed-And-Go-Do-Something-For-Me knock. A knock that I have grown very accustomed to, but still manage to loath with all of my being. I swear it sounds like the police are knocking on my bedroom door and, no matter how many times I say it isn't necessary to knock like that, she won't stop! Dang social worker parent...

But that's not the point.

The point is that I am awake and, because I actually managed to fall into bed before 3am and sleep through the night, I can't go back to sleep. So, I figure it is time to get up and do something productive. Like cleaning. Not.

But I think I will go do my first six yoga poses of the day. Then maybe I'll be ready to tackle the laundry, dishes, and cat litter.

I'm in the market for losing about 100lbs and, since every journey begins with one step, I'm taking mine today.
Current Location: United States, Ohio, Toledo
Current Mood: sillyUpbeat!
Current Music: None...Yet!